Some of you know that I’ve been sending books and other packages to our troops serving in the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Lt. MaryAlicia Verdecchia is one of “my” soldiers, who has become a friend.
 

I enjoyed her e-mails and letters while she was deployed, rejoiced when she came home, and was thrilled when she was promoted to company commander. Now I’d like you all to meet her and hear her words. I’m proud to know her and honored to be part of the country she’s serving.

And if you’re interested in sending goodies – letters, cards or care packages -- to troops, check http://adoptaplatoon.org/new, http://www.anysoldier.com/index.cfm  or http://www.operationsandbox.com.

 

Lt. Verdecchia was a guest speaker at gathering of women veterans in May

Address by Lt. MaryAlicia Verdecchia, U.S. Army
May 2005 Women Veterans’ Week, Branson, Missouri

I want to begin by saying what an honor it is to be here today speaking to you all at this special occasion. I am also honored to speak for those brave female soldiers who have been injured or permanently disabled, and those 37 who have given the ultimate sacrifice for our country. Females currently make up 15% of today’s service members, with 10% serving abroad in support of the war. Many have been ravaged by the war and still continue to persevere. Like Major Tammy Duckworth, who lost both her legs after a rocket propelled grenade (rpg) exploded upon hitting her helicopter. She exemplifies what a courageous soldier should be, as well as the selfless hero, who continues to conquer today with her upbeat attitude and optimism. She stated, “This is not so bad. There is always somebody worse off than you are. I’m just glad it was me and not one of my guys out there.” Wow! I am honored to belong to the Army, which holds so many amazing heroes such as Tammy, and proud to have served my country abroad. Today I’d like to share with you my experiences in the Army, from my entry to my recent deployment, how the Army has changed, and finally tell you what the Army has done for me and how it has opened doors for me in ways I never thought possible.

The Army is an amazing and complex subculture, of which I am very proud to belong. There is no doubt in my mind that the Army has molded me into the person I am today. When I joined the Army in 1991, I was only 18 years old and unsure of where I was going. I wasn’t ready for college, didn’t have the money to go even if I had been ready and the military seemed the logical choice. Many of my friends and peers said I couldn’t do it, and my Dad really did not want his only daughter to join the military. Although, I had never been one to ‘prove to others’ that I could do anything I wanted, this was something I felt I had to do for myself.

I was originally going to join the Air Force. However, my older brother Dale said I had to at least speak with every recruiter before I made my decision absolute, and proceeded to drag me to every station, including the Coast Guard before I decided to go with the Army after all. I began the enlistment process 1 month before graduating high school. I shipped to basic training at Ft. Jackson (S.C.) and was scared to death. I remember thinking what a challenge basic training was, without even a moment to think. I was always that private that couldn’t resist looking around and got dropped a lot (ordered to do a lot of pushups.) I struggled to adapt to the changes of this new lifestyle as well as the changes to my body. Between the physical pains and changes of new-grown muscles and the mental stresses, I sometimes didn’t know what end was up. I survived and graduated, though, and I think that was the first time I was ever truly proud of myself.

More pride came when I would return home on leave to Oregon, and people would thank me for serving our country. When I came in twelve years ago, I came in at the end of Desert Storm. At that time there was a lot of good feelings toward the military and what the US had done for the country and citizens of Kuwait. But something happened in the next decade that seemed to diminish Americans’ pride in the military services. I came to be afraid to mention my military job to my fellow Oregonians, no matter how proud I was of my service, because of the harsh attitudes toward military. I still continued to serve as best I could. I aspired to be an officer. I wanted to further my career as well as learn to be a leader. I wanted to be the officer who cared about the soldiers. When I met my husband in Germany, and the attitudes toward the military started to change near the end of my enlisted tour, I started thinking about forgoing my dreams as an officer. In November 1995, I decided to end my active enlistment, get married and attend classes while in the Guard. I would decide later if I wanted to pursue a career as an officer.

In 1999, my husband decided to end his enlistment from the military. I still wanted to become an officer, so we began to discuss it in great detail. Could he follow me as a civilian and military family member -- would it hurt his ego? What if we had children, would he be their caretaker? In the end, although not all the questions were answered, he decided to support me and I joined ROTC for my junior and senior year. On September 11, 2001,

MaryAlicia and Brian in March 2005 after her return.

halfway through my senior year of ROTC, my life, as I am sure yours, changed. My upcoming life in the military had new meaning and America’s view of patriotism changed almost immediately. When I commissioned into the Officer Corp, I was sent off immediately to the military to help train cadets and attend my Chemical Officer Basic Course. Although I was expecting it, I was still surprised when I got to my first duty station and we received orders to deploy 45 days later. At this time war in Iraq had just been declared. I was scared out of my mind. I was a new Platoon Leader- and hadn’t even learned what is was to be one. But I started thinking -- I had to be strong for my soldiers.

 
I was surprised to learn how much the Army had changed in the way of deployments and females. When I had come in previously, they tended to try to keep dual military or single females with children home, even if they had a family-care plan. Now, after a four-month, postpartum grace period, male and female soldiers are treated alike. Females can be deployed on a moment’s notice just as a male could. And all our females deployed with us except the one in her postpartum-phase, and she deployed after that phase was completed.
Whether you’re military or not, have you ever had one of those defining moments in your life? Or re-defining moments? Something that makes you reanalyze your way of thinking. Something that happens to you that makes you realize a little more about yourself, as well as who and what you live for? For me it was deploying. Being deployed to a war zone, and for a year’s time, really made me think. A lot can happen in a year. The world goes on without you. Your families grow without you. You have to work exceptionally hard to keep your relationships alive. As a female, you have to work hard to not lose our feminine sides, to find time to do our toenails, do some girl-bonding, and, for many, work at being a mother from continents away. Being deployed also made me appreciate our great freedoms, friends as well as family, all we have, real food, AC, how wonderful the USA really is. On the military side, it made me appreciate my soldiers more, made me realize how important it is for me as a leader to train them properly, and the great joy and finding a new family in the fellowship of other soldiers. You also realize how much you have taken for granted, and that at a moment’s notice, your life could change irreversibly. You could be injured, permanently maimed or killed, or worse yet, somebody under your care could be killed. 

Elayne Boosler a comedian activist said it best when she said, "We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.' " (Elayne Boosler quote).
I love that quote. In reality though, even before I deployed, I wondered if I could ever kill anyone. Or how I would feel afterward if it did come to that. But after being deployed, I realize that I could. One of the many things I learned about myself after a year. I saw many soldiers coming into our base, injured, being sent to the hospital. I never saw the ones that came home in a box, but I knew they were there. I was reminded whenever I passed by the Mortuary Affairs, hidden by rows of connexes, on my daily or nightly guard checks. You become desensitized to the enemy as a human being. Male or female-it doesn’t matter. If it come down to life or death-you will chose your life over theirs no questions asked.
I learned there are no front lines. This has been stated by many females, especially those who have suffered grievous injuries. As Lt. Dawn Halfaker, who lost her arm to an Improvised Explosive Device, also known as IEDs, stated, "Everyone pretty much acknowledges there are no rear battle areas, no forward line of troops." She went on to state, "Women in combat is not really an issue," When my Aunt Judy was in Army Nurses Corp, women were all in non-combat-roles, which is why there were a lot of nurses in Vietnam. She told me there were still a lot of nurses who died in Vietnam. So even then, women were not on the front lines, but still being targeted because of their roles in the Army. SSG Juanita Wilson, another soldier who lost her arm to an IED, declared, "It is happening. … I wish that people would just wake up and remember that woman are fighting”.

I was lucky. My company, 172nd Chemical, was chosen to stay in Kuwait and guard the bases there, instead of the more dangerous Iraq. May people ask me what my MOS, or military job was over there, and I tell them Soldiering. I was trained as a soldier first, and Chemical Officer second and when I was deployed I never once in the entire year I was there did my company’s mission as a forward support smoke unit. We worked 12-14 hours a day, often seven days a week just watching the perimeter for enemies, as well and working the checkpoints for vehicles coming in and out of our camp. Days were long and tedious and very boring.

The hardest days to work were Thanksgiving and Christmas-because it didn’t feel like a holiday when you’re working. I know how I felt on those holidays, so I knew my troops were feeling it too. I did whatever I could to improve morale, by getting them mail and packages from organizations such as Adopt-a-Platoon and Operation Sandbox and doing my best to make holidays more special to them. We did get some days off, and we worked hard to get our soldiers to Morale, Welfare, and Recreational events or trips if at all possible to occupy their time. Above all, getting them home on R&R for two weeks, which opened up 6 months after we had been deployed. My soldiers would ask me if they should go home, and I told them yes, definitely. They shouldn’t just do it for themselves, but for their family. To get a chance to get off that plane, with just them and their family, and spend quality time alone, and a chance to reconnect what was lost while they were gone-that was a true gift they could give their family. I knew when we redeployed, we would have debriefings, classes, and many other things we had to do before we would be allotted block leave. So if they could go home, they needed to. We had soldiers going home for R&R up to one month before we redeployed.

Let me tell you a few fun interesting tidbits about Kuwait. It’s hot there. Is that a surprise? Well ‘it’s hot there’ is an understatement! I never knew what hot was until my deployment. I believe the hottest it got there was 135 degrees, not including humidity. You know it’s hot, when you look around lethargically and notice there are no flies anymore, or any other bug for that matter. That’s when I knew it was hot. I also realized what hot was, when one morning, at 4 a.m., getting ready for a shift, I realized I was chilly. Curious, I went over to our tent thermometer. It was 90 degrees. I was flabbergasted, I was cold -- at 90 degrees! Then I started thinking. If it had been 90 degrees and the temperature dipped to 60 degrees, I would be chilly, too.

The hot summer weather and sandstorms finally broke up as we headed into September and we started having some beautiful weather at 100 degrees (which felt like 70 degrees to us). But then January came and so did the rainstorms. No matter how waterproof your tent is, it is still going to leak in a desert rainstorm. Either that or your tent floods due to the rolling hills and water flooding downhill. One day, I remember particularly well because the rainstorm came on so fast and sudden. We had tree vehicles get stuck in puddles that formed as they were driving down the road because they filled up so fast. I had my troops calling in on the radio saying their coolers were floating away. It wasn’t funny then, but now that I look back, you can’t help but chuckle. Somebody put up a sign by one of our newly created lakes that said ‘Beach open’. And after it started to dry up another paper appeared over the sign: ‘Beach Closed’.

We finally got orders to redeploy a week before our year mark, with word to be ready to go at a moment’s notice. Let me tell you -- you have never seen a soldier work harder or faster than one who has received orders to go home. There was no ‘only a week? we don’t have enough time’. Within three days our stuff was ready to go, and we were ready to go home when the 48-hour window opened. We began our flight at 0700 on Friday and filed into the gym at 2359 that evening after a long flight. The gym was packed, even at midnight. They were playing a patriotic song, that I do not remember what it was called, only that it brought tears to my eyes that I worked feverishly to fight back. I told myself I would never cry in front of my soldiers. I remember scanning the crowd for my husband, and it seemed impossible that I would find him among that crowd. I will never forget the pure unadulterated happiness I felt, and I still remember it well today when that general said, ‘You are dismissed to return to your families.’ I still get a little teary-eyed remembering it. The formation broke like a tidal wave as troops ran to hug family members and scoop up children. It seemed like forever but it was only seconds when my husband walked toward me with a single rose.

Readjusting was a little difficult, learning to sleep in a king bed instead of a cot – and with someone else -- was not as easy as it might seem. He had learned to pick up after himself, and clean up, and for a role-reversal, I found him admonishing me for leaving clothes on the floor when I came home at night. It just seemed like I was a different person from when I left, but we still had our love. We had a strong marriage, and a year’s absence was hard on us, some people were not so lucky. But we were. It’s been a year since then, but I believe our marriage is stronger.

Remember when I told you earlier there is no doubt in my mind that the Army has molded me into the person I am today. Well it is true. The Army has changed, too, though. As it has molded me, we the woman of the Army have molded it into a better place to be. There’s more equality now and less sexual harassment as the Army has adopted its zero tolerance policy on discrimination, sexual harassment, and fraternization. I believe it helps, too, that the females we are getting in as new trainees are stronger, too. It seems today’s teenagers; the Millennials have better self-esteem about themselves and their bodies. They are not willing to be subjected to sexual harassment as a private might have a decade ago and are willing to come forth and prosecute. Just as America grows in equality between males and females, the Army is advancing in equality, as well.

1SG Richardson and Lt. Verdecchia presenting a Certificate of Appreciation to American Legion for helping a family out during Christmas holidays.

They are working to bring equality to all aspects. With the uniforms, the berets. Everyone wearing the Army flag on their shoulder, where it used to be just for those who deployed. Jobs are now the same title for officers as well as enlisted. It is an age-old battle among Americans about women in the Army, especially as the casualties among females rise. Major Tammy Duckworth, whom I mentioned at the beginning of the speech, stated, “If you can do the job, to the standard of the job, and you’re doing everything within standards set by the military and you can hold your own, then that’s all I can ask for of a soldier standing next to me, whether male or female. If they are going to cover my back, then I’m going to cover their back.” I could not have put it better myself. As more women step outside the roles traditionally once set for them, the Army will advance as well. I know it will be a while before Americans overcome their need to overprotect the female gender, and let them do the protecting. However, the reality is there are women in deadly combat zones without front lines and war does not discriminate by gender. These females are trained and equipped the same as males during training with no segregation. So it is essential to our soldiers’ well-being, and to the missions at hand, that females should not be segregated during wartime. Let us be the protectors not just the protected.

I feel I am a protector. As a leader, I am responsible for hundreds of soldiers in my company. The Army has directed me toward this responsibility with precision and guidance over the years. Molding, shaping, and influencing my life in every aspect to help build me into a leader of today. As an individual, the Army has helped me to become stronger, unafraid to stand up for what I believe in. That I can be both strong and a woman, without anyone thinking less of me for it. I have been taught how do be a leader and have grown as one during these past three years as an officer. I have embraced the Army values -- Leadership, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity, and Personal Courage -- and live by them twenty-four/seven. I believe the Army values embody what I want to be as a person, in military life and one day in the civilian world as well.

In addition to growing as an individual, the Army has enabled me to attend college as well as many other courses that many individuals pay hundreds of dollars for. The Army has always encouraged education and to excel in all classes I attend. I have been given many opportunities to travel and experience other cultures. I have been across the US, explored Europe, and discovered a different way of life in Kuwait. The Army set me on the path to meet my soulmate and spouse, Brian, who is here with me today. Who has been there for me the past 10 years through all my darkest hours, in spirit when he couldn’t be there physically. I have led a very successful and active army career. I am a Company Commander, a position normally slated for Captains, due to my previous experiences and accomplishments. Something I am extremely proud of. And finally it has opened doors to opportunities that most females would never get the chance to experience, such as speaking to you all here, who have come to honor and recognize the females who have served before, serve now, and will serve soon.

So here I am today in front of you, speaking about the Army and sharing some of my experiences. I hope you enjoyed hearing about them as well as how the Army may have changed, since some of you served. The Army has done great and wonderful things for me, changed my life and opened doors I never thought possible. Maya Angelou once said, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” There have been many great female soldiers and veterans who have inspired and influenced me to become who I am today, because I have never forgotten how you made me feel about the Army. That sense of pride, strength, and desire to be more than what society suggested I should be. Some of those soldiers and veterans are here today and I am honored that you came here to hear me speak today. Thank you. I want to add, I brought my Kuwait scrapbook here today for any of you who might like to see my deployment up close and in color.